. We..." Ara tried to say, whilst still on her knees. "Go fuck yourself, Ara. You can take him with you and finish what you started," Tea said, tears still falling down her cheeks. Ara stood up, wiped her mouth and walked out of the apartment. "Baby..." Tea closed the space between us, and put my face in her hands. "I am not your baby. I stopped being your anything the minute you let my sister put her mouth on you." "Tea...." "Get the fuck out of here." Her eyes were the darkest I had ever seen them. They looked the same as they do now, now that she was sitting across from me, looking as perfect as she always did. "Having 182 missed calls from you doesn't make a lot of sense when you're just sitting here staring at me. I thought you'd have something to say." She pushed her menu aside. I knew that meant she wasn't planning on staying here very long. I was running out of time. "I'm sorry," I said, trying to organize my thoughts. "I thought you'd have something to say other than that.". Heidi and I had ashared destiny, to be melodramatic about it.So part of me wanted to be here, had all along, the first time we'dclashed. Michelle had told me no one did anything they didn't have todo and she was more right than she realized.I want to do this, I told myself. To be a cheerleader. I wanted tothe day I made my little sneering comment that brought me to Heidi'sattention, but not in the same sense of the other girls on the squad. Their purpose was simply cheerleading, but for both Heidi and me,cheerleading was a means to finding a purpose. And I was starting tofigure mine out now and once I did, I'd have this out of my system andcould quit free and clear. Heidi's, though, was a secret otherness,and it was a ghost-melody in my brain now, a few notes or a snatch ofsinging, just enough to make me want to know the name of the song.Some of the other girls started to gripe a little about the stuntsituation, taking some of the pressure off Tara and causing Heidi tosort of.
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